Heels and Loathing in Las Vegas | Haute Macabre

Heels and Loathing in Las Vegas

I just returned from a weekend in Vegas, and walking the casinos and shows late at night led me to realize that somehow a very important message was getting lost: your shoes are only as hot as you look walking in them.

I really love those Jimmy Choos, but if you are carrying them in your hand by 2 am, you look like an idiot. Heels are meant to be strutted in, swaggered in, stalked or danced in. If you limp, fall, duck walk, curse loudly at every step, or cling to your date for dear life, you lose. (If he or she carries you, however, you might just win).

Please allow me to provide you with a few basic tips on not being that girl:

  • Most importantly- buy shoes that fit you, and only shoes that fit you. I don’t care how cute they are. If they don’t fit, you will look like an asshole in them.
  • Be brutally honest with yourself in the shoe store. If you can’t walk in them there, you never will.
  • Break them in before you wear them out the first time. Wear them around the house for a half hour at a stretch, or try wearing them over a thin pair of damp socks for an hour to loosen the leather.
  • Break in the soles by bending them at the ball several times
  • Use sandpaper to scuff the bottoms and give you some grip, or use stick-on shoe grips.
  • Dr. Scholl’s Party Feet.
  • Carry some moleskin in your purse just in case, and use it to stop blisters as soon as you suspect one.
  • With shoes that are already broken in, inspect them each time you wear them out- a breaking heel usually shows signs of weakening in advance.
  • Drink a little less.

(Shoes: Balenciaga 2007)

Erin is a web developer and lover of tiny dogs, ghost stories, and too much eyeliner.

4 Comment

  1. I love women in high heels, but as the heel height continues to rise they become less and less practical for walking in. Even these best celebrity legs in high heels only walk a short distance on the red carpet. High heels are amazing but maybe they are mostly for show and not for pavement pounding or a long night of dancing. Christian Louboutin is quoted as saying “A good shoe is one that doesn’t dress you, but undresses you.”