Maybe There Is A God
I shudder each time I see them. I think we all do. Airports are full of them, and I find them more offensive than frat boys. I am superficial enough to openly admit that I would rather have my foot amputated than ever wear a pair. I can’t even bring myself to type out their name.
These hideous things are something we would never post on HM, but HALLEFFINGLUJAH, it looks like they’re going out of business. And that, my friends, is cause for celebration. Let us all say our prayers and make our sacrificial offerings to the Fashion Gods, in hope that this wonderful news is not from the mouth of a fasle prophet, and that our eyes may never have to lay on the horrors of these plastic monstrosities.
Praise be to Jeebus.
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Tags: EFF YES
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:35 PM
They are an insult to footwear, I am totally with you on the foot amputation where the options be that or crocs!
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:36 PM
This is music to my ears <3
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Oh please, oh please, let this be true. Crocs are an abomination.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:57 PM
Was about time!!!
:puke:
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:04 PM
At last! Those things were monstrosities.
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:02 PM
Alas, apparently they’ve recieved a 6-month extension on their loans and heir stock is up 21% over it.
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:09 PM
hahaha funniest post ever!
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:36 PM
ha! wow thats great news. sooooo bad. blech. now if we could just get everyone that owns a pair to be forced to surrender them into one massive burn pile we could pretend they never existed.
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:03 PM
Thank ****!!!! Hideous. I too, would rather have my feet lopped off at the ankle than have to wear those monstrosities. A clever member of the Vogue Australia forum has this quip as her signature:
“The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism”
Never a truer word spoken
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:36 PM
Amen!
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 PM
Yes! The brand that started it all is dying! However, there are so many off brands of the dreaded Croc that I personally fear it will be hard to get rid of them! My heart goes out to those small children whose mothers cruely dress them in crocs..
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 PM
@Pelianth – goddamit.
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:33 AM
thank goodness those are the most hideos shoes in the whole world. i remember catching my fashion tutor in them once….all respect went oout the window
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:17 AM
I don’t want to hear about crocs unless it’s in combination with ritual burning – but this comes quite close! Let’s hope that 21% rise in stock is quickly lost and they still go out of business.
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:58 AM
worse are the little kids who get *excited* about wearing them. calling out “oh, these are my CROCS” and all i can think is “oh sweetie, that’s nothing to draw attention to, please…”
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:12 AM
I will admit to actually have a croc (not a pair, just one) on my foot once. Because I lost a bet and had to try it on.
The worst thing was, it was no where near as comfy as the 4″+ heels I wear every day so I really don’t know what people are raving about.
death to ugly footwear.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:45 AM
@Samatha- Ditto.
I really hope this isn’t just some twisted belated April Fools’ Day joke. This post brightened my entire day.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:54 AM
There will never be a good excuse to wear those things as long as Audrey Hepburn-style black ballet pumps still exist.
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:09 PM
ooh gods..my dentist and physiotherapist wear these…i swear i shudder evertime i see them!
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:33 PM
Filthy bacteria traps, they are footwear for those who have given up on their dreams.
April 4th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
When I worked at a comfort shoe store a few years ago we were required to try on shoes from every brand that we carried. My boss forced me to try them on, he was bragging about how all these stock brokers were wearing them with their business suits to work.
I was not sad when I was fired from that job for correcting spelling on a memo written by my supervisor.
April 4th, 2009 at 3:48 PM
THANKYOU ZOMBIE JESUS, it’s about time!
April 4th, 2009 at 9:18 PM
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/03/27/funny-pictures-crocs/
‘Nuff said.
April 5th, 2009 at 7:05 PM
no way crocs are awesome, fellas.
they resemble swiss cheese and tires. i wish i had a pair, but i don’t often find myself in situations where I am wading in water then need to cross quickly to a dusty trail to get to that murky river bank just asking to be traversed. last time that happened… well, let’s just say my vans classics were never the same. i see them now as i write. they gaze softly at the corner of my san francisco apartment with their forever stiff canvas, wishing they had some sort of stunt shoe to take the beating during my excursions through the oregon wilderness. “Don’t worry Mr. and Mrs. Croc,” i would say. “No one hates you in this river bed. I hope you live forever.”
and they would.
April 6th, 2009 at 2:28 AM
While I appreciate the intentions of this post, as a business owner I can’t help but feel upset at the fact that everyone is celebrating someone’s company is going out of business is really bad taste.
Sorry guys, but this is one post I really can’t get behind.
:/
April 6th, 2009 at 4:26 AM
April fool?
April 6th, 2009 at 10:26 AM
oh thank god. I dont understand how you decide that those shoes are wearable. Their fucking plastic. Like Jellies but without the glitter speckles
April 7th, 2009 at 3:47 AM
And not a day too soon!
April 12th, 2009 at 8:53 AM
I read today in the paper that they are making cruggs. ie a croc Ugg boot (as an Australian I take no pride in being the country of origin for the Ugg) hybrid. Yes it’s as ugly as you would expect a fluffy, gum boot, garden clog to be but at least it doesn’t have those ridiculous holes.
April 12th, 2009 at 2:10 PM
Yeah, I don’t see what’s so great about a business going under seeing as people will lose their jobs. While I hate Crocs myself, I’m not going to knock someone who is wearing them. That’s like them calling me out for wearing my skull brooch to work. To each his own. Just don’t expect me to wear ‘em is all.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:04 PM
do you really think what replaces them will be better? and not more hideous? the progression is obvious. tiva (sp?) krocs (sp?). next it will be storm-trooper boots made out of sponge. it has to be comfortable. we’re amaericans.
May 8th, 2009 at 10:41 AM
May you never have to be on your feet for 8 hours straight. People who post these ridiculous rants about Crocs are usually the same people who love, LOVE places like American Apparel and like to wear old lady jewelry with neon tights.
Honestly. Stop judging people on what they wear. Grow up.
May 8th, 2009 at 7:00 PM
Happy those wretched things shall be gone once and for all….but sad that if u died today ud go to hell :’(
October 19th, 2009 at 4:14 PM
Crocs have their place. Their place is not wandering the mall or going out to dinner- but they have their place.
For instance, at summer camp or public showers where you don’t want to get nasty foot-crud but feel even more ridiculous when you have to wear neon flipflops or those wierd water-shoes that only come in neon pink and blue with green stripes.
Black crocs for public showers, locker rooms, and perhaps, just perhaps when you’re camping or playing near a lake where you don’t want to traipse about barefoot. Snakes and sharp rocks and all.
Not fashionable. But effective and quick-drying.
Just not in public. ><