I always wondered what the kids would get up to once piercing became passe. I mean, I’m Gen X, right? You can’t shock me. Sure, I thought. They’ll try. But me, I’ve watched a Prince Albert. My ex split his tongue and had his teeth filed decoratively. I seriously considered coral horn implants. Beat that, whippersnappers.

But this. This creeps me right the fuck out.

This platinum eye jewel (available in several styles) is inserted under the cornea. In case that description alone doesn’t give you the willies, or perhaps gen-gap you into a drinking binge, there is also the 500 Euro price tag to take into account. (I haven’t seen anything on this hitting the US yet). Still thinking of having it done? Here’s the how-to video:

If this all seems like a bit of a commitment, the fad for sticking things to your eyeball doesn’t end there. Eric Klarenbeek has designed a series of eye jewels that attach to contact lenses, trailing down the face like tears.  Or perhaps like those suction-cup crystal dragonflies meant to liven up suburban kitchen windows and sold mostly in various beachfront stores worldwide. They look better on this mannequin than they look on actual models,  where they trigger my instinctive need to get that damn thing out of your eye.

Oy. The kids these days. Get off my lawn.