Hooked On Hairroin | Haute Macabre

Hooked On Hairroin

The moment I read Nixon’s announcement that “Hair Today” had been added to Haute Macabre’s categories, my conundrum was solved.  Never mind the three posts I’d started; what I’m doing now is

For those of you who might have stumbled across my dot com at some point, or perhaps encountered my profile on one of those pesky social networking sites (or another )? Chances are you’ve already heard read my emphatic ramblings about this epicenter of Most Correct proportions.  If that’s the case, hear me when I say eh, eh, eh! Skip the eye-rolling, for I bear new news—that of time-sensitive importance.

However, for those of you unfamiliar with Hollywood’s House Of Hairroin? Please allow me to “be your pusher” and introduce The Legendary Mother: master stylist, N.A.H.A. finalist (2008, Avant Garde) and salon owner Janine Jarman:

Jarman presumed ownership of the space in 2005, juxtaposing massive  8′ x 4′ mirrors in slick black decorative frames with the interior’s high unfinished ceilings and exposed brick. Overall, there’s an air of neo-Decadence in the salon’s aesthetics: a fin de siècle attitude of “luxurious self-indulgence.”   And indulgent it is…

† Three Of Jarman’s Creations †

Hairroin salon/boutique/gallery is a luxury brand in and of itself.  With ten different types of hair extensions available on the menu, it should go without saying that there’s not a pair of unskilled hands in the house.  Jarman encourages “consistent advanced education” for the Hairroin crew, with the mission of “providing personalized attention to the fashion forward and service-oriented client via absolute mastery of hair and all its intricacies.”

Said another way?




Doesn’t scream “Fantastic Sam’s!” at me. (Ditto: “No Really, I Did It All Myself!”)

As far as I’m concerned, skimp on socks, underwear, t-shirts, lunch money—but your hair?  It frames your face. It completely alters one’s appearance.  Coming from someone who’s endured a disastrophe or twelve too many, these days I think of a trip to The Master-Blaster the same way I do plastic surgery.  (If you’ve never seen a hatchet nose job or a ghetto-gold mane so thirsty for RG-corrector it’s practically sobbing “Help Me,” then Bless. Your. Heart.  For the rest of us, though? Hairroin has half-price Wednesdays; that will suffice.)

Another perk for newbies?  Prospective clients have the ability to peruse stylists on-line by their various levels of expertise—Master, Senior, or Junior—as well as their “addictions” (areas of expertise).  That way, when making an appointment, a person can select a staff member that seems best suited to the procedure desired: Whether it’s Manipulating Curly Hair & Dreadlocks, Clean Cuts & Natural Color, Color Correction & Curls,Yuko (Japanese Straightening Procedure), The “Perfect Bob”, Natural Blonde Color, “Up-Styling”, Rockin’ Color, Platinum Blonde & “The Foxy Blow-Dry”, Multi-Colored Rainbow Dreads, Sexy Styling, Working With Indecisive Clients, All Cuts & Colors, or even Braids & Weaves—’cause “If You Can’t Grow It, Sew It!”

†  Janine In The Salon’s Front Parlour: The Epitome Of Decadent Optimism, Yes! †

I’m tellin’ ya: this 4’10” powerhouse is a vanguard with boundless energy.

However, why take my word for it when you can witness her infectious personality and scissor-wielding skills yourself?  Quite fortuitous, the timing: since tonight—that’s February Third, 2010—Ms. Jarman appears as a contestant on the third season premiere of Bravo’s reality series Shear Genius!

*10 p.m./9 central

(And if by chance you miss it? There’ll be re-runs all week; I’m sure…)

More Haute Hair After The Jump!

Another essential component of the Hairroin compound?

† Irene Urias Is The Answer! †

When I explained the color I wanted for my extensions, she didn’t just nod with a blank expression and put in whatever she wanted (or found convenient!)…On the contrary, The Lean Mean Irene Machine concocted several swatch options, until we came up with:

The precise shade of not-too-white, and more-silver-than-gray that I envisioned.

Other marks these beauties bulls-eyed?

† Amanda Fields Of “Project Runway” Infamy †

† Actress Mageina Tovah (Spiderman 2-3, “Joan Of Arcadia,” et al) †

† Actress/YouTube Sensation Deena Marie †

† And I Wish I Knew This Model’s Name, But LOOK UPON THE HAIR! †

1553 N. Cahuenga Blvd. † Hollywood, CA † 90028

Telephone 323.467.0392

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13 Comment

  1. Clint your writing just gets more and more insane! and i’m sosoooooooo proud to have been at a hick town in Arkansas with you and have gotten the hell out. would love to see you soon….still in reality —-GET ME OUT —-

  2. as a stylist this is so very inspiring as is hautemacbre and clint…always quick on the vein and the pulse of the zeitgeist….
    love to read you everyday!

  3. This is the best post I have ever read. Hairroin Salon is the most beautiful salon I have ever been in. I took a class there a while back, the entire staff are the most talented people I have ever seen do hair. I saw Janine Jarman on Shear Genius last night killing it! I hope she wins!

  4. Is anyone else noticing a bit of subtle reminiscence of The Fifth Element in the fourth picture (sparkly dress/pink hair)? Either way, anyone who references such classic sci-fi and JPG intentionally or otherwise gets a thumbs up from me.

  5. * That was supposed to say

    (And if the above doesn’t show up, it says:
    [ insert significant life event here ]